Snakes and Dazzas !!

Snakes and Dazzas!! - a new game from TDC
	99	98	97	96	95	94	93	92	91
90	89		87	86	85	84		82	81
80	79	78		76	75	74	73	72	71
70	69	68	67	66	65	64	63	62	61
60	59	58	57	56		54	53	52	51
50		48	47	46	45	44	43	42	41
40	39	38	37	36	35	34	33	32	31
30	29	28	27	26	25	24	23	22	21
20	19	18	17		15	14	13	12	11
10	9		7	6	5	4	3	2	1
But enough of that as it is getting late and I have something warm to curl up with (okay !!......Cadburys will have to do at the moment !) ........... here is Darren's Resume (edited for Webvision) that was written by himself and Rob Smith over a few pints as a laugh in the vain attempt that it would get him another job !!......... ironically, Sandersons didn't raise an eyebrow !!! Professional Resume Darren Harris Tel/Fax: Mobile: 0973 xxxxxx E-mail: dharris@totalise.co.uk An excellent communicator with a wealth of knowledge in all areas of IT equipment, software, getting back from Thailand on a budget !! Confident either working alone or as part of a team. Professional in both manner and appearance with the ability to become an asset to any company or relationship. Career History Aug2000-July 2001 Infrastructure Technician (Project Work) Contract – AXA Plc Main Duties To provide technical skills to the AXA Shared Service Project. Working with the Tools Team. To provide emotional and physical exercise regime to females on the AXA SSL Service Desk. Building of Live and Development Infrastructures for the Tools Team, Spending lots of capital on cars, clothes, boxes of chocolate for girls who work in sandwich shops, generally being creepy to any female with nice teeth as I have a fetish to do dentistry. Peregrine ServiceCenter 3 environment and software deployment, including CTI integration into Peregrine ServiceCenter 3. Integration of a SDA into the AXA house and another relationship at weekends. Peregrine Rollout to approx. 15000 users across 5 companies, excluding Third Parties. Spoofing Rob Smith into thinking that he's 'One of the Lads' (see Rob Smith Page!!) Keeping the tools team entertained for a 12 month period. Feb 2000-July 2000 IT Systems Support Specialist Contracted to PPP Lifetime Care PLC (Stratford Office) Main Duties To provide support for the Technology Manger during integration with AXA Sunlife. Continue systems support, as detailed below. Integration of PPP Ltc’s IS systems to AXA Sunlife PLC Securing of data and systems before closedown. Nov 1998 – Feb 2000 PC Net Solutions Limited, Telford Systems Administrator Main duties: At present I have been outsourced to PPP Lifetime Care PLC for the foreseeable future. My responsibilities included the general day to day running and administration of Novell 3.12 files servers and various NT application servers IE Exchange5.5, SQL, DHCP and DNS. Writing of bespoke batch files for maintenance tasks. General running of 15 live and development servers. PC Desktop support, HP printers and software support on WIN95/98/NT, MS Office95/97, Outlook98. Machine design and architecture, installation, hardware and software maintenance, Configuration of workstation and RAID servers. 2^nd and 3^Rd line support on Novell NetWare, Windows 95/98/NT and NT server, MS Exchange, support on major office applications such MS Office 4.3/95/97/2000, MS Works/ Lotus SmartSuite, and Disaster Recover Situations. 1996 - Nov 1998 Wrekin Office Equipment, Shifnal IT Manager Main duties: To build a department from scratch that would compliment the rest of the company. Consultation, Sales, Support, Installation and Repair of all IT equipment including Windows 3.11/95 and NT networks Training customers onsite and in house training for all staff Researching the future in-vitro needs of all customers 1990 –1996 Oyster Communications, Telford Field Engineer Main duties: Servicing fax machines in the Shropshire and surrounding area Training external clients, such as National Rivers Authority, Inland Revenue, Sharp UK, NEC UK and Birmingham University (First year maths students only of the female variety) Education and Training 1-2000 Intershop E-commerce Software Completed training on set-up, design and administration of an Intershop based e-commerce website 1990 – 1992 Telford ITEC City & Guilds 7261 – Micro Electronics and Electronics Analogue Electronics Digital Electronics Electronic Systems Computer Servicing Copier and Computing Principles Mechanical Principles Penile Neuorosurgery 1984 –1990 William Brookes School, Much Wenlock 11 GCSE’s (Paid in full with cash) Achievements Peregrine Software Rollout to 5 AXA Operating Companies approx 9000 users (none of which are happy) Build of AXA Service Desk Software Toolset, encompassing all 5 Operating Companies (God help them!) Implementing a CTI Server for the AXA SSL Gaining the contract at PPP lifetime through my knowledge and personal skills Resource Centre Project Providing the PPP web site with an automatic SQL mail link through Outlook (still in UAT after 8 Months) Interests Power Kiting Tightrope walking – emotional variety. Playing golf and tennis badly Standing in front of a mirror and modelling a boof haircut. Playing football for a charity football team Keeping up to date with IT issues - Analytical Engines a speciality Multi tasking the latest fasion designs with various females who can be bothered to listen.. Other Information Excellent References available on request (when I buy a new colour cartridge for the printer) Date of Birth: 12 October 1952 Full Driving Licence – covered in convictions Software Knowledge base Environmental Knowledge Windows NT Networks/ Novell Networks/ Aspect CTI Server solutions/ Peregrine CallCenter Software/ E-mail to SMS Text Messaging Services/ SMS Software deployment/ Internet Servers IIS, Netscape and iPlanet/ WINS/ Xnet Interactive Orgasmatron Windows based Windows 3.1x/95/98/NT Workstation and Server/ NT Small Business Server/ Microsoft Exchange Server 5.5/ Proxy Server/ Microsoft Mail/ Publisher 95/97/98/2000 Microsoft Office 4.3/ 95/ 97/ 2000/ FrontPage 97/98/2000/ Outlook 97/98/2000 Lotus SmartSuite 96/97/ Lotus Notes/Corel Perfect Office/ Seagate Backup Exec/ARC serve/ Norton AV/ Dr Solomon’s AV/ Sophos Sweep AV/ PC Anywhere/ Network Faxing solutions/ HP Jet Admin and TCP/IP Printing. Novell Based Novell NetWare 3.1x/ 4.1x/ 4.2 Small Business/ 5/ GroupWise/ Zen Works/ Seagate Backup Exec/ ARCserve/ Sophos Sweep/ FAXserve. Hardware Knowledge base Motherboard Architectures, 386 to multiple PIII/ Xeon based servers Daughterboard Architectures, multiple orgasmic abilities preferred Sun Servers, Ultra Sparc, and sun disk arrays IDE, SCSI and RAID storage interface systems Intel/ AMD/ IBM/ Cyrix CPU architecture. Video card performance and user relationships IE CAD, Design Station Architecture. PC Design and Network Architecture. CD-ROM R & RW/ Hard disk repairs. Network Hubs and Topologies (females if possible) ISDN Router, 10-10/100 & 100Mb hubs and switches. Fax and communication devices. HP Printing and scanning devices, digital copying system. CAT 5 cabling techniques TCP/IP Protocol IPX/SPX Protocol S&M Protocol at no extra charge NetBEUI and NetBIOS Protocol