It was a mild Tuesday night and a fairly usual and routine one for Jon. After a hard day at work watching 'Fitness Beach', he and Tanya had decided to curl up on the sofa for the evening and watch 'Eastenders'. This was Jon's favourite programme as he rather fancied himself as the wheeling and dealing entreprenneur that Ian Beale was although he had more of a hairstyle akin to Phil Michell !
As the end credits rolled, he stood up in his dressing gown and reached down for his trainers. He had left his wallet in the car along with certain contents that he hoped would come in handy for later on after dinner. Leaving Tanya for a moment, he popped outside onto the driveway of his neat little semi-detached in a rather nice cul-de-sac. The air was cool and still and a bit of dew had begun to form on the windows of his beloved Ford Explorer. Lovingly, he ran his fingers down the sleek, smooth curves of the passenger door, the images of 'Fitness Beach' still playing a re-run inside his head. "Oh Man!", he thought to himself and then suddenly turned, looked up the street and grinned. He was still grinning when he got back to the lounge to find Tanya, still in the same position on the sofa, watching 'The Bill'
Tanya must have been turned on by the idea as she and Jon were both standing on the driveway five minutes later, dressed only in dressing-gowns and trainers. Like a couple of adolescents, they got into the car and belted up. As Jon fumbled for the ignition key, a thought suddenly dawned. In their haste for their perverted desires, the location of the house keys became a stark reality. They were still hanging up in the kitchen where he had left them earlier on his return from work.... "Oh Maaan!!"
There was only one thing for it !! They had to get hold of the letting agent who had rented them the house in the hope that he would have a spare set of keys. The only problem was that neither Jon nor Tanya had a mobile phone on them, or indeed, the money to pay for a phone-box. Add this to the fact that it was early evening in a city-centre and the fact that both of them were starkers apart from a dressing-gown and a pair of trainers it all added up to something extremely dodgy indeed ! They would have to reverse the charges or maybe Jon would have to sell Tanya to someone for the price of a phone-call !
After driving for ages trying to find the most remote phone in the city, they succeeded however there was still the occasional car going past. This gave Tanya time to check behind all the seats for lost coins and giving Jon a semi. in the process ! As luck would have it, Jon's seat yielded a fifty-pence coin. After another ten minutes monitoring the traffic flow, Jon flung open his door and raced across the road to the phone box (slap slap slap). It was fortunate that he remembered the number of his agent as well as the agent actually being at home. After stifling back the laughter, Jon was told that there was nothing that could be done as he had had too many beers to drive.... "Oh Man !". However, this was just a pun and after an agonising search through hundreds of bunches of keys, all three of them met back at the house.