An Interview with Jonathan Cherry

TDC cameras were alerted to the activities of Mr Cherry after his autobiography was rejected simultaneously by all the country's top publishers on the same day. This book entitled 'Oh Man!' was found to contain only two words, repeated many many times over, no less than, 340 pages including the cover !

We took a valuable 30 minutes of Jon's Internet browsing time to find out more about the man behind this outrageous book:

TDC:    Jon, what made you embark on such a mission ?

JON:    Oh Man !!....... Okay, I was given a contract a few months ago to look at a new bit of software and worked out that if they can make enormous amounts of cash by writing crap books under the guise of 'documentation' then I could do the same !!

TDC:    And which bit of software would that be ?

JON:    Ahhhh....... that would be a bit risky....... I could still make a few bob by renaming my book, "The Oh Man! Option".... nobody would know the difference !

TDC:    But who would you get to publish it ?...... after all, you are still paying back deposits to all the publishers in this country.

JON:    It's who you know isn't it ?... after all, how do you think I managed to wangle this 17" monitor ? I can handle it Man !!

TDC:    I'm sure you can, being a man with many interests in many activities......... What is your favourite pastime at the moment, apart from browsing the Internet ?

JON:    Oh Maaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn !! - Allroight Muyrrr Luvverrrrrr, I suppose it is turning up for work and nagging my workmates over what they eat, drink, smoke, think, have sex with.......... !!!

TDC:    So you're a bit of a 'Mary Whitehouse' of modern English working-practices ???

JON:    Right-on Man !! There are too many people out there that are damaging themselves. After all, we only have one shot at life and it would be a shame to lose it on a frivolity !

TDC:    So you must be religious then ??

JON:    Oh Maaannnnn !!! I just live for the jibing, the diving and the sandwich-man at 11:30 !!

TDC:    Oh !!,  so then you're gay ??

JON:    Some are worried that I may be !!..... I have this habit of winding people up to think that I am. There is one consultant that I work with who has been a bit quiet recently due to my rehearsed antics with one of my colleagues.

TDC:    So you must have a great sense of humour ??

JON:    I work where I do at the moment......... is that enough ??

TDC:    Says a lot really, I feel a real schmuck for asking that question !!

JON:    Never mind Man, it's easy to jump to conclusions ..... is that caffeinated coffee you're drinking there ???

TDC:    Ermmmm.......... yes ?!!  ...... why ????

JON:    It's not good for you Man !

TDC:    Er..... okay.......  So what is your favourite tipple then ?

JON:    This and that....... water mainly, but I do stoop to the occasional lemonade. I have to do the party-scene now and  again !

TDC:    So, what do you get up to when you are not browsing the internet working ?

JON:    Diving Maaannnn !!..... it's great 'cos the fish don't smoke and I have this great affiliation to wetsuits. There is this girl                  called Rachael that..... Oh Maaannn!........

<interview paused>

TDC:    Welcome back Jon ! Following on from that last question, what about your love-life ?

JON:    You don't want to go there Man ! Let's just say, if it moves, bag it !!.... law of the jungle Man !

TDC:    Mr Jon Cherry, I think that's all we have time for - thank you for your time !

JON:    No problems Man !