In the year of our Lord c1996, the great Archangel of Chaos, St. de la Cu, walked over the channel that bridged his own realm with that of its neighbour. This was a comparatively unknown area to him and his quest to know the secret of his army's success in this realm led him to visit all corners. He sent out other armies of goblins to explore and to report back. His native commander, Shocks R Crimbo, was given an early warning of the boarding party and so fled the bridge of the great ship LEA. The workers gave him a fond farewell not knowing the underlying reason for the sudden departure but wishing him well on his garden anyway. Meanwhile, from Cumbria to Cornwall, the goblins absorbed the scenes of this strange land, taking great care not to disrupt the faithful workers in their quests for glory.
And so, they returned to their master and together they travelled back across the water, the goblins taking a boat after many disastrous attemps to emulate the Archangel, to hatch their battle-plan !
"Nous devons arracher les anglaises !!", the Archangel stated before his minions. The goblins looked at their wine, then at the Archangel and then back at their wine...clearly puzzled. And so, the arrival of the interpretor was heralded. After taking lessons from Ted Rogers (of 3-2-1 fame) St. Henri with his classic finger-gestures was summoned to convey the wishes of the Archangel to the masses. The goblins understood at last and with certain digits pointing didst return to the newly explored lands.
The workers observed a new captain at the helm of the great ship LEA. The arrival was sudden but the fate of the crew of his previous ship, the Albeit Also, struck a deep chord of worry amongst them. Many were still reeling from the recent call-to-arms of such training exercises as VERDI and BORO. The new captain WAR K DOOM was quick to survey the LEA strongholds and with the aid of his first mate, STIR IN A CHILL VENUS, gathered new armies...not just from within the throngs of the great ship LEA but also from farther afield.
The workers received the first missives of doom via the mouths of fellow workers. Scurrying like ants throughout the keep and fuelled by the soothsayers of the land, the words of a great upheaval in the lands became a thing to fear. Even the High Priestess, in her infinite wisdom was sworn to the policy that 'speech was treason'. As the great army of XAA extended over the channel and absorbed the powers of the lesser army, many talked about its meaning but did not realise, for certain, what was to be !
Meanwhile, the doctors had assembled under the command of the Duke of Wellington. The ranks that had supported the DOW now merged with some that had led the Great TAN by the hand for years. The drums of war were looming in the distance and a new army was being amassed, one that could fight and help guide the workers in their day to day toils against the ever increasing advance of the dark army. The doctors were joined by those who had held the maidens of the Coventry keep captivated for years. This merry band, led by Steve 'I put on womens' clothing and hang around in bars', Vance 'closet fetish of the female masses', Colin 'be nice or I'll chuck an arrow at you' and Niiiiiiiiiigeeeeeeeellllll Beeeelllllllshaaaaam, moved up towards the battlements and exchanged their battle-tactics with the existing doctors (see Genesis). The training excercises continued and despite a few local differences, the control of the DOW and the Great TAN pulled in and were sharper and more willing to fight the adversity that beset them.
And so, the crew of the great ship LEA were informed by Captain Doom that their day to day toil would now be done alongside those of a neighbouring army. The details were left to the imagination and enough grapevine grew to fill the barrels of the keep many times over. The army of NUFLIES had always been regarded with suspicion as the workers knew that theirs was best. The scribes of the lands contributed to the confusion that the workers felt and it was a daily habit to scour their offerings for what was going on. The bombshell came during the summer when Captain Doom announced to the world that the Wycombe keep was no longer in favour and would be left an empty shell, fit for only the pirates and plunderers to lay waste to.
The workers were aghast. Many had spent their lives in the keep and had established bonds of friendship that went far beyond the day to day toil that they gave to the cause. Captain Doom was cursed many a time but it was to no avail. The Archangel of Chaos had spoken and the Captain had obeyed. Having lit the blue touchpaper, he then disappeared to the relative calm of the city.
The first footsoldiers ventured from both armies. These were the privileged few who were privy to the information. They met in utmost secrecy many times and on returning back still remained shrouded in their cloaks of darkness. The workers could wonder but that was all. The summer dragged on and a new garrison was established at the end of the rainbow. Like Noah's Ark, pairs of workers from both armies sat and discussed the master plan. A carefully scribed missive was circulated round the workers from time to time but the result of this was to generate more questions than it answered. The Shoemaker returned from the end of the rainbow one day, his face was thunder !!
The great DOW was in the bath when the phone rang ! "Sorry mate !", the Shoemaker said, "just give it your best shot and keep smiling!". The DOW was puzzled after the Shoemaker hung up but kept on with business as usual which these days consisted mainly of counting up the number of G:\WORK\CV.DOC files that lay around in the workers' cabinets. He didn't have time to ponder for long..... just as with the Great Tan and the RSCDLL curse, several new items appeared in front of the DOW. These were not the tricks that he had lovingly performed many a time for the workers, these were made many lands away by a company called SLUTO. Similar to putting sand into an engine, the Great DOW choked on these. This went on for many weeks. St Peter or one of his apostles would appear, feed in a SLUTO snack, watch the DOW choke and spew it back up and then they would go away.The DOW, in his infinite wisdom, however knew that St Peter was not happy. The WDLPS\WORK\CV.DOC file had appeared. He contacted the Great Tan who had a quick search and confirmed the nightmare.
Like a tower of cards, the DOW's architects announced to the workers that they had had enough of torturing the DOW. One by one and three by three they left. The Shoemaker, St Peter and St Andy left the DOW a parting gift (see Vaults) as a momento to show to the workers to try to lift their spirits. A brief respite from the sombreness that blew like an ill wind around the corridors of the keep - a respite that lasted until the following Monday. It was not the same, the DOW's keepers had lost their leader and despite the consoling from the High Priestess, many were aghast that such a sudden move could happen. St Mark almost immediately gave up tending his mustard plants, leaving them to rot over a collection of St Peter's SLUTO-snacks.